Being this is Annetta's debut, I feel it only necessary to point a few things I noticed. (You all know I do this anyway, but I like to be more in depth with the newer authors).
This story is lacking detail. There are descriptions of everything from what the characters wear to what's in a house, but there's little attention paid to detail. Detail can either make or break a book. Too much the risk of the reader getting bored comes about (case in point, Anne Rice's description of a chair leg in Interview with the Vampire), too little detail however can turn a reader off to the work and the book won't get the attention it should. I would suggest Annetta consult with a content editor or even a beta reader or two to help eliminate this issue in future works.
The dialogue I felt was a bit robotic. Not so much forced as in most books with this problem, but entirely too proper for this day in age. It would make sense for Rayen to speak in wholly proper given what she's gone through in her life, but the rest, especially Blake and Angela, I feel contractions would have helped bring them more to life than they are at the moment.
The sentences are clipped and short. (ex. She walks in her house. She sits on her bed.) This would fall under that detailing issue, that a content editor or beta reader would be able to help lengthen the sentences and bring the vision Annetta saw for the story to the forefront of the reader's mind.
There are a handful of errors, including some grammatical ones. A few instances where Rayen went from being prim and proper to being uncharacteristically "ghetto" . None of these will stop the flow of the story for the reader, however they are quite noticeable.
There is an issue with the story jumping around that I feel would be in the best interest if it were addressed as soon as possible. Typically when you jump scenes during a chapter there are either breaks between the dividing paragraphs, or some sort of marker. (most typical used is ****), however, with this story those are few and far between which leaves the reader just a little confused at first.
As I said before the storyline is very well thought out, but it can use a bit of polishing to bring it to light better. Even with the things I found, the story was still able to hold my attention, it in fact pretty much demanded it be read. Which is a good thing, and which will be even better once it flows better.
The book ends on a mild cliffhanger, and leaves the reader assuming there are loopholes since several questions seem to go unanswered. However every avid reader knows if there's a cliffhanger, there will most assuredly be a sequel. In this case I very much look forward to its arrival.
I really want to thank Annetta for entrusting me with her book even knowing that I would be reading it with my critical eye, and not as the friend I call her. It takes a lot of guts to hand your book to someone you know will pick it apart. I absolutely look forward to reading more of her work so I can watch her grow into the brilliant writer I see lurking within the pages of this first book. And I absolutely recommend this book to anyone who likes romantic thrillers, I promise there will be no disappointment with this story line.
I give this book 4 of 5 paws for originality. My wish is to be able to give the next one 5 of 5